


Rock You Like A Hurricane

by scorpiofromspace



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal sex/fingering, Billy Hargrove Lives, Billy always loved Steve, Billy calling himself gay slurs, Bisexual Steve Harrington, But she's our tough girl, Come on Duffers, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, First blowjobs, Fix-It of Sorts, Gay Billy Hargrove, Graphic depictions of violence - Freeform, Graphic fight between Neil & Max, I love these fucking boys okay, M/M, Marijuana, Much speak of death, My own Season 04, Neil Hargrove is His Own Warning, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Season/Series 03, Sam and Murray on a Rescue Mission, Specific warnings will be at the top of the chapters, The Character Growth Billy Hargrove Deserved, The tags will change as I write, Underage Drinking, fucking duh, not that much of a slow burn, this is my first fic please be nice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-24 07:34:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30068832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpiofromspace/pseuds/scorpiofromspace
Summary: Billy had stormed into Steve's life very much like the song that blared from his speakers that first day. A hurricane that had wrecked Steve more than once. After he died, Steve was struck with grief over Billy, and it seemed everyone was having trouble coping with his death. But what does death even mean in a town like Hawkins, Indiana? The story of how Steve realizes his love for Billy, Neil snaps in the worst way, Billy survives and comes back to fight, and Steve and Billy find their place in a world filled with chaos and monsters.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Jim "Chief" Hopper, Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Eleven | Jane Hopper & Billy Hargrove, Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler, Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper, Robin Buckley & Billy Hargrove, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley/Kali Prasad, Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson, Steve Harrington & Maxine "Max" Mayfield
Comments: 15
Kudos: 28





	1. He Doesn't Remember.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is my first fic so please be gentle with me but I'm super excited about this story. I have it planned all the way until the end so please feel free to stick around <3

Steve Harrington knew he’d finally gone crazy. Certifiable, should-maybe-be-in-a-straight-jacket, crazy. He jumped at every shadow and sometimes he really couldn’t tell what was real. He knew he had a routine. He went about his days as usual. Wake up screaming, shower at the hottest temperature his body could handle because _he likes it cold_ , coffee, pick up Dustin and Max for school, work at the video store with Robin or sometimes Keith, meet up with the kids after school (which is when he decidedly felt the least crazy), drive whichever shitheads home that didn’t have their bikes (or skateboard) and head home to his empty house to walk the halls, flip on all the lights, check every room for monsters (because monsters under the bed has a very, very literal meaning for Steve), reheat some leftovers and force himself to eat, stare at his reflection to make sure he was still himself and not a flayed version of the Mind Flayer like Bil-, anyway, then he would lie down and attempt to sleep. Sometimes he did, most times he didn’t, but he had a routine. It was working, days and months were passing although he didn’t feel them as they went. He was numb. He doesn’t remember when he became numb. He doesn’t remember when his days became a routine he had to force himself to get through or when he became a walking human shell. He just remembers Starcourt.

Starcourt, where he had almost lost the kids. Again. Starcourt, where an abomination that shouldn’t exist had quite literally fallen right into their laps to try to kill them all. Again. Starcourt, where the last person in the world he’d ever expected to see fighting the Upside Down stood in the middle of the lower level, arms outstretched, giving them time. Time to run, time to get away, but Steve had been frozen. Frozen staring at Bil- at him. As he gave his life to save them. _As he gave his life._ He often wonders if he knew in that moment that he would die, if he was afraid. All Steve saw was pure determination, the kind of determination he saw on the same kid’s face when they would play basketball and he seemed to lose focus on everything else: determination to win, determination to come out on top. His determined look stayed in place as one by one the tentacles of the meat monster hit him with a force that should’ve knocked him off his feet. But no, not him. _“Plant your feet”_ his mind had repeated in the boy’s voice as he stood frozen in time watching him let out a guttural scream that had black liquid pouring from his mouth. When the monster dropped him is when the look of determination finally left his face, and in it Steve could only see fear, sadness, regret. He distantly heard Max screaming the boy’s name and Robin screaming Steve’s, but his feet were moving on their own, running down the escalator and towards the monster that he hadn’t even noticed had collapsed, towards the boy on the floor.

As he quickly approached him on shaky legs, he heard him whisper, “I’m sorry” and it hit him in the chest in a way that felt like a tentacle might have hit him too. No, those were not the dying words of a hero. A hero always gets to say something badass before he dies, a quick “take care of yourself for me” or a “it was worth it, wasn’t it?” But not him. Hargrove’s last words were I’m sorry? What was he sorry for? _He had just saved El, he had just saved us all._ Who were the words directed at? Was he saying sorry for dying, or was he saying sorry to the world before he left it, for taking all the lives he took without his own permission but with his own hands? Most likely of all the sorry was for Max, the only person that Hargrove had truly seemed to care about, something that had stuck with Steve and gave him a fierce protective streak for his dead ex arch enemies sister. A small naive part of Steve thought that maybe Billy had seen him running to him; that maybe a little bit of the sorry was for him too. Sorry for time wasted. A few seconds after he recovered from the initial shock of seeing the strong blonde that he had come to know as an unstoppable force lying on the ground letting silent tears fall, looking so completely unlike himself, his feet had sprung into action again before his mind could catch up.

“Jonathan! Nancy! Robin! Help me get him outside!” He screamed as loud as he could for someone: _anyone_ to help him as Max clung to her dying brother and spoke in his ear. She was sobbing and begging him to hold on. Steve screamed louder, and before he knew it, he had three extra sets of hands gripping the dying boy and carrying him out of the doors of Starcourt. Starcourt, which he would never be able to get out of his mind. He doesn’t remember the feeling of Hargrove’s blood (was it even blood?) soaking through his shirt. He doesn’t remember looking into those blue eyes and breaking apart in a million different ways. What he does remember is that right before they loaded him into the helicopter, he reached out a shaky hand, scaring Steve half to death (okay - too fuckin’ soon, you idiot) because he thought for sure they’d lost him already. That shaking hand reaching up and cupping Steve’s bloody face before he gurgled out “I’ve always loved you, Steve” …and then he was gone. The heart monitor they had hooked him to as soon as he was on a stretcher went flat and Steve stood frozen in place watching the helicopter carry his lifeless body away.

He doesn’t remember hearing Hargrove ever calling him Steve. He doesn’t remember the tears that followed, he doesn’t remember clinging to Max while they sobbed because she needed someone to cling to just as badly as he did. He doesn’t remember getting home to an empty house. All he remembers are those words. “I’ve always loved you, Steve” on repeat throughout his meaningless days. I’ve always loved you. I’ve always loved you. I’ve always. LOVED. you. He’d spent countless hours trying to freeze that one moment in his mind; to have one last good image of the boy that was torn apart to save them all. The boy Steve never realized he loved until the moment he died, leaving Steve empty and hollow. He doesn’t remember what he felt like before.

Steve’s no stranger to death. The Upside Down had claimed many victims but he was never around to see them. Barb- _oh god, poor Barb_ ; the thought made him want to vomit, she had died alone, terrifyingly unaware of what was killing her. Had he known about the monsters he never would’ve left her alone outside, but that’s a regret he’ll always hold. At least Bob Newby, superhero, knew what he died for. He died protecting Will, Joyce, Hopper, Mike; he died saving the world. He had to hope that Bob knew that, wherever he was now, that he really was a superhero. Countless others: the flayed as the kids called them, could’ve only known for mere seconds that their death was upon them before they were gone. Mind numbed and turned off, turned into a shell of a human being, which is a feeling Steve has come to relate to and the reason he checks himself every night. Surely, he would know if he was flayed, but with the Upside Down there was never an ounce of certainty. Anyway, Steve knows death. He knows that when the Upside Down rears it’s ugly head it takes and takes until it can’t anymore, but with Hargrove, he had watched him die. Watched him bleed out, watched him struggle out the words he felt were the most important to say before he died. No snarky hero comment, only his love for Steve. For the life of him he can’t get the image out of his mind of the boy on the floor, of the boy on the stretcher, of the boy he loved being hauled away because he was dead. He wanted to remember him as someone he loved, but he never got the chance to tell him. Because he was gone. Gone like Hopper. Just gone.

And with him, a part of Steve died too. The part that held a certain hopefulness, a happy outlook on life, that in the end everything would be okay, because that’s just a lie that people tell you to make you feel better. Everything would not be okay, because the ghost of the boy he once knew haunted his dreams night after night, begging for help. Begging for Steve to help him, to find him before he died, and he always ran towards the sound of his voice but could never find him until it was too late and he heard Hargrove scream in unison with his own, shooting up from the bed and half expecting it all to have been a dream. But it wasn’t just a dream. Hargrove was dead. And Steve didn’t know if he would ever recover from it.

\----------

Max sat in her brother’s room, holding the pendant in one hand that he always wore around his neck. The paramedics had handed it to her as they loaded him into the helicopter. The last time she got a glimpse of her brother, after he had told Max he loved her, was him reaching out his hand for Steve and whispering that he loved him too. Of course, Max knew that Billy had loved Steve. Of course, Max knew that Billy was gay. They had been so close in California, Billy had trusted her with everything until she had messed up their cover story that they were together by being late one too many times, and Billy paid for it one too many times, and the cops were called one too many times. Neil didn’t like the rumors going around, so they moved to this Hell Hole as Billy once called it. _And now she agrees with him on that._ She knew he blamed her for moving here, _and now she blames herself for that too._ If she’d been on time, if she wouldn’t have always been so careless, he’d still be here with her.

Anyway, she never stopped paying attention to her brother, no matter how much he had blamed her. She had seen that as soon as they stepped foot in Hawkins Billy had become obsessed with the tall brunette boy she’s come to know as a brother. Not a stand in brother. No one could ever, would ever take Billy’s place, but a brother she could turn to when she needed to cry or scream. A brother that understood her pain better than anyone else. That’s why as her emotions spiraled, she placed the journal that was in her other hand onto the bed delicately and reached behind her to grab her walkie talkie, which she rarely used these days. “Steve? Come in. It’s Max, over.”

In almost an instant the walkie cracked over the static with Steve’s voice. She felt a sigh of relief that he was on her side, he cared about her. He cared about Billy. And she knew what she had to do; she was just scared to do it. “Max? Is everything okay? I’m here, over.” He sounded worried.

His reply filled the otherwise quiet room that felt like a shrine to the brother she’d lost. The brother that had bought her a new skateboard, had apologized to Lucas and the rest of the party, had driven her around all summer when he wasn’t working to get ice cream or simply to avoid their parents. After she almost nailed his balls to the floor there was a mutual respect between them. Sometimes she looked at Billy and saw what she thought might be awe in his eyes, that she was so much like him. Their humor fit perfectly and they pushed and shoved and called each other names just enough to get a faked angry huff out of Billy, who was always smiling at her with that awe in his eyes, but then again he taught her every ounce of the tough exterior she wore. Their relationship had been better, many times he had called her Mad Max and the pang in her chest was full of love for the brother she had missed since they moved to Hawkins. The brother she had just really gotten back. And now the brother she had lost again. Maybe that’s why it had been so jarring to see him during that summer so full of anger, anger she hadn’t seen since he beat up Steve, and it took her too long to realize that he was trapped. Trapped in his own body, mind not his own. She was full of regret, if she had only told Billy about the horrors she’d been through maybe he would’ve been more careful.

“Steve, I need you.” She sighed as sobs began to wrack her body. Maxine Mayfield was not a crier. But she had cried more in the past six months since Starcourt than ever before in her life. Nor was she one to ask for help, but mourning a brother was different; she had always looked up to him no matter how much he pretended he hated it, had always wanted to be just like him, tough with a take no shit attitude, soft just under the surface and selective of the people who got to see it. Mourning him had changed her in ways she wasn’t ready to accept yet. If she closed her eyes and breathed in, she could smell Billy’s nasty cologne, a small scent of cigarettes and hairspray. _Sometimes if she shut her eyes long enough, it was almost like he wasn’t gone._

“I’m on my way Max. It’s going to be okay” came Steve’s reply and she heard him lock his front door. She knew all the other Party members likely heard her plea for help but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She needed a brother, she needed HER brother, but Steve was as close to him as she could get. She still wasn’t sure if she was making a mistake, but then again Billy wasn’t here to pretend to be mad at her if she did.

\----------

Steve pulled up about ten minutes after Max radioed him, he had become an expert at being ready to jump in the car at a second’s notice. Not to mention he’d made the drive to the Hargrove house over a hundred times in the past half year. He made it in record time. Maybe not something a normal 20 year old would think about, but then again, he wasn’t really normal. He knew the Upside Down would be back, he just didn’t know when. It always came back. He made sure Neil Hargrove’s truck was gone before he walked up the drive.

He purposefully didn’t glance over at old shed where a certain blue Camaro stared at him as he walked. He felt like it was judging him. _Nice job, you asshole. Look what you did to me. Hargrove loved me._ He flipped the car off out of the corner of his eye for good measure. _He loved me too. We’re both broken._ He knocked on the door and it opened with a flash of red hair that tackled him as he was squeezed into a hug. He regained his footing and held her as she cried, and he didn’t need to ask why. Didn’t need to ask if she was okay, or if he could do anything to help. He knew the answer.

A little while later they were sitting in the cemetery. Max liked to come here, and Steve would bring her whenever she needed to, although it broke his heart all over again every time he glanced at the headstone that read _William Joseph Hargrove_. Max was sitting next to it, talking to Billy like she normally did, almost like they were having a conversation. Steve sat on a bench nearby to give her privacy but could sometimes hear little I miss you’s and I love you’s float over to where he sat. His heart felt empty. Max waved him over to the grave and he tried, he really tried not to look at it. He sat down next to her and stared at where the grass had grown a bit over the soil of the grave. He didn’t have any words.

Max however seemed to want to say something. Her mouth kept opening and shutting like she was reconsidering what she was going to say. She turned her gaze back to the headstone and her jaw tightened.

“Max, since we’re here I’ll say this in true Billy form,” _ouch, it hurt to say his name_. He winced before he continued, “spit it out.”

Max turned and looked at him. She had tears in her eyes but the same determined look in them that her brother always wore. It made Steve want to cry as he shoved the images of Hargrove wearing that look to the back of his mind. “Did you love my brother, Steve?” She asked. Her tears fell.

With no hesitation, Steve answered honestly. “Yeah, I did Max. I didn’t know I did. I didn’t know why I always felt the way I did around him, or why he was always on my mind, but when I looked in his eyes that- that night I… I just knew. I loved him and I never got to tell him.” He glanced up at the headstone and hoped that wherever Billy was now, he knew that Steve loved him too.

They were both crying now, but Max reached for her bag and got them tissues. Next, she pulled out a worn leather journal, and handed it to Steve. He was confused. “Is this something for D&D?” He asked. She smiled a small, sad smile. “No, it was Billy’s. I go into his room sometimes when I need to just… breathe. One day I laid onto his bed, and this was under his pillow. It fell on the floor when I moved it, and I swear I wouldn’t have snooped, but at the top I saw…” She glanced at the notebook as if gesturing for him to open it. He did, and he saw too. “Dear Steve” was written at the top of the first page in Billy’s handwriting. He flipped the page and it was written at the top of the next, and the next, and the next, almost a full notebook of letters to Steve. His stomach turned and he started to sob. Max wrapped her arms around him and quietly said “I thought you deserved to read them. I didn’t, but I know you’re hurting. Maybe they can help you.”

He barely managed a thank you, Max, through his tears. But he held the notebook to his chest. It felt like he had a piece of Billy with him, and he felt something other than numb for the first time in six months. He felt grateful. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they headed back to the Beemer, driving in comfortable silence until they arrived at her house. This time Neil Hargrove’s truck was in the driveway and he eyed it with hatred. He thanked her again and hugged her tight before she got out, reminding her once again that he was always there for her and if she needed him he could be there in ten and got an “I know, Mom” and what could almost count as a real smile in return. Once he was alone, he had the overwhelming urge to start reading the letters. Not here though, not right now. He sped off towards his house, grateful for once that it was empty, because he knew the letters were going to ruin him.

As he pulled into his driveway, his walkie cracked to life again. “All good here. Goodnight Steve. Goodnight nerds. Over and Out.” It was Max, and her nightly sign off. The Party all knew- actually, everyone in the circle of people involved in the Upside Down including The Party all knew- what Neil had truly been like with Billy. Once the truth had come to light, in the form of El and Max coming clean to the group about what El had seen in Billy’s head and what Max had seen (well, all the time) at a dinner right before the Byers family moved; they all knew they had to protect Max. With Billy gone, Neil might turn to Max. Hopper was gone so he couldn’t do anything about what El had seen, but the rest of the group decided that they could. They got Max out of the house as much as possible without making it painfully obvious what they were doing. Nancy would invite Max to stay over almost weekly for a night out of the house since El had moved. Steve drove her around and took her places when she needed it. The Party never gave up on her even though she rarely went to the arcade anymore, or D&D nights, and ate by herself at lunch. They still worried about her and made sure she was okay. Steve knew their feelings were hurt, but he also knew they’d never give up on her. They were a family. Which is why he was already prepared for the walkie to crack to life again not two minutes later as he was unlocking his door, the nerds demanding to know how she was as soon as they knew she was off the channel.

“Is she okay? Over.” That was Lucas.

“Yeah, she didn’t talk to us at school all week, what’s going on Steve? Over.” Mike.

“Seriously what the hell! We’re all worried sick! Over.” And yep, there’s Dustin.

Steve walked up to his room and laid the notebook gently on his pillow. He pulled the walkie from his backpack and reported back, “She’s okay guys. She just misses Billy. She lost her brother, you know. She’s in a lot of pain, but Max is a strong girl. All of you know that. She’ll be okay I promise. You know if she called us then Neil is already in bed, but look, I’m exhausted. I’ve got to try to get some sleep. It’s late, you guys should be in bed too.” As an afterthought, he added “Over.”

“Sleep? Steve, we all know you don’t sleep. Over.”

“Yeah, thanks Dustin. No harm in trying though,” he lied, “tonight feels different. Over.”

“We’re just… we don’t know what to do Steve. It’s like she’s a completely different person now that he’s gone. I don’t… I don’t know how to help her.” Lucas was never one to forget to say over, and he could hear the tears through the boy’s voice.

“Lucas, all of you, she will come to you when she’s ready I promise. She loves you nerds. People grieve differently. She just needs time,” He glanced at the clock on his nightstand that said it was 10:25 pm, “And speaking of time, it’s time for all you shitheads to get in bed. We’ll check on Max tomorrow, okay? Sleep good guys. Call if you need anything. Over and out.”

He waited a few moments before he turned the volume down a bit and set it on his nightstand. He never turned it off. They could need him at any moment. As he sat it down, he again glanced at the journal. He knew he would need to be way less sober than he was at this current moment before he dared open it. He walked downstairs to the liquor cabinet that hadn’t been touched by anyone but him in so long that there was dust on every bottle except the bottle of bourbon he usually drank from. After That Day- the Starcourt day- his parents had given him a little bit of hope. They had been more attentive and caring in the days following than he could ever remember, especially from his dad. He remembers his dad coming into his room in the middle of the night crying. He’d never seen his dad cry before. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost you son.” He cried and held Steve like he hadn’t since he was a child getting skid marks on his knees from playing outside. About a month later though, they were whisked away on another trip, leaving him alone and paranoid. They weren’t bad parents, by any stretch of the word, he knew that they loved him. They were just distant, he didn’t get too involved in their lives and in turn, they were hardly involved in his.

He sighed and opened the bourbon, taking a long pull and loving the way it burned his throat. He took another, and another, and then decided to bring the bottle to his room. There, he pulled out the carefully hidden baseball card box from his closet that he knew his parents would never touch, not that they cared enough to look. Inside were pre-rolled joints and he had to thank earlier Steve for saving him the hassle of rolling one up while on the verge of a buzz. He lit it with his zippo and took a long drag, feeling his tension melt away with the weed and bourbon on his side.

Only after drinking enough that he was definitely drunk, and smoking two joints, did he feel ready to open the journal. He stared at it across the room like it was a bomb. _Will this hurt me more, or help me heal? I guess it’s time to find out._ He crossed the room clumsily and picked up the journal. He opened it to the first page and before he could even start reading he felt the tears stinging his eyes at the ”Dear Steve” written on top. This boy that he thought had hated him, that he had thought about daily and who haunted his dreams, had written him a book of letters. The thought made the tears fall as he started to read.

_Dear Steve,_

_Truth be told I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. Someone somewhere along the line told me that getting my feelings out on paper would help me process them. Is that true, or just another bullshit lie people tell you to make you feel better?_

Steve scoffed through his tears. Yeah, Hargrove, I’ve heard plenty of those.

_Anyway, I know you’ll never read these, unless I’m like dead or something, then I won’t be around to be embarrassed._

Steve was sobbing now. If only Billy had known.

_The truth is Steve, I’m in love with you. I think about you all the time, I can never get your dumb hair or your doe brown eyes out of my head. I wish I wouldn’t have lost control at the Byers house that night. My old man, you know, he’s not the kindest man in the world. Earlier that night he’d cornered me for Max being out late and called me a faggot. He threw that name at me all the time but no matter how many times he did it still stung like a bitch, because I am one. I’m gay Steve. I don’t know if you’d ever have been my friend, but I doubt you would’ve been once you found out I’m a raging faggot. A faggot that’s head over heals in love with you. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that I hurt you. Seeing the one boy who I loved after hearing that from my dad – I just snapped. I can’t explain what came over me that night, but I regret it every day. I don’t want to be like my father Steve, and I think we could’ve been a pretty great team. I’m sorry I had to go and mess that up before I ever got a chance. I promise to try and make it up to you. I don’t know how yet, but one day you’ll know how much you mean to me. I guess I do feel a little bit better, getting all of that out. Steve, you’re ten times the man I’ll ever be, but I hope one day I can deserve to call you, if nothing else, my friend._

_Yours,_

_Billy Hargrove_

Steve closed the journal and let his sobs wrack his body. He had loved him since the Byers house. He had loved him for the last years of his life.

_Yours, Billy Hargrove._

_I’m so sorry Billy, I’m so sorry I didn’t see you until it was too late._


	2. She's a strong little girl.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a good day and invites the kids sledding. Max does not have a good day, and things get even worse from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets his first good night of sleep with Billy's journal. How sweet is that? I know I'm corny, but hang in there with me. Also there is a graphic fight between Neil and Max in this chapter but as I said before she's our tough girl.

Weeks went by like this, Steve staying in during nights to read Billy's letters. Letters about games they won or games they lost and how Billy hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of Steve, when Steve got a particularly good shot and Billy had been proud of him, Billy seeing Steve on his morning jogs through Hawkins and how Billy had woken up early to catch a glimpse of Steve as he passed by his home and how he went to every party _because_ he was looking for Steve. How he had apologized to the kids and meant it, how he had wanted to apologize to Steve but didn't know how. Billy wrote about his past, his time in California with his mother, how his dad had turned him into an angry person. He wrote about how he'd picture the waves to calm down, or Steve. Although he said he couldn't think about him too much in public (which made Steve _b_ _lush_ like some freakin' school girl), about how he'd strolled through the mall all the time just to get glimpses of Steve in his short blue Scoop's Ahoy! shorts. About how the one time Steve went to the pool that summer in shorts even shorter than the blue ones Billy had to take another shift because he couldn't get down off the watchtower until he had _calmed down_ and had put his sunglasses on so he could watch Steve swimming with the kids. He'd write his ideas about how he could get Steve to talk to him before the summer was over. _Before the summer was over._ He shuddered and closed the journal, but instead of putting it in it's usual place on his dresser he hugged it tight to his chest. Steve knew he was getting close to the end of the letters and he didn't want to stop reading. He could read Billy's thoughts forever. He felt like he _actu_ _ally_ knew Billy now, knew so many things about him that he hadn't before. It made him feel closer to the boy even though he was gone. Sometimes Steve would even think he saw a flash of blonde hair standing near him while he was reading, but he'd glance up to an empty room of course. He's not crazy. He's _not._

Steve must have dozed off holding Billy’s journal, because when he opened his eyes it was to sunlight streaming through the curtains. He hadn’t gotten a full night’s sleep in half a year, throw in something of Billy’s and he slept like a baby. Typical really. Today was his off day and he was thankful that he hadn’t been late because of his dreams of a happy Billy on the beach smiling and laughing and holding tight to his tie dye patterned surfboard when he'd ride a wave, the perfect sleep. Today was going to be a good day. He picked up his walkie and tuned to the channel Robin had designated as her own as she told him she would “ _NOT, Steve Harrington, under any circumstances, spend my time listening to those dorks all day! You can contact me, just switch the channel. I’ll let the kids know only to raid my channel if there’s an emergency._ ”

Steve had chuckled and said “Pot. Meet Kettle. You’re a freakin’ dork Robs! How dare you!” Playfully holding up a hand to his mouth like he was scandalized.

Robin had ruffled his hair and playfully kissed him on the cheek. “Takes one to know one, dingus.” Then she had gone to rewind tapes and Steve had probably thought about Hargrove.

He switched it to Robin’s channel and started chanting her name. Quietly at first, then louder, and louder, until he was practically sing-screaming into the walkie.

“What the hell, dingus! It’s like, 9 AM and it’s our off day! I was sleeping!” she grumbled.

“Ya know what Robs? I’m feeling like today is going to be a good day. I feel okay.” He replied. He knew he had her, hook, line, and sinker.

The tone of her voice had completely changed as she said “Hell yeah! What’re we doing? Let’s do something fun. We could invite the kids!”

“I was thinking we could go sledding or something, I dunno. There’s a huge hill right outside of Hawkins my friends and I used to go to all the time. I think I still have some sleds?” He said it as he wandered where the hell he’d put them.

“I have two! My sister had one before she went to college. I’m so proud of you, Steve.”

His heart clenched. Robin was the only person who ever said things like that to him that he believed. He trusted her in ways he’d never trusted anyone, definitely not Tommy, not even Nancy.

“Thanks, Robs,” he tried to blink away tears “I’ll radio the kids and ask them, see who’s picking up who and let you know. I love you.”

“I love you too, dingus. Talk to you soon.”

After radioing the kids, back on their usual channel, he was surprised at how excited they were. Even Max had chimed in “Oh my god! I’ve never been sledding! Over.” While all the boys explained what it was like and how much she’d love it, she was practically exploding “I’m going to ask my mom right now!! Ah, I’m so excited! This is going to be so fun. Over and out.”

\------------------

Max had never even seen snow before she moved to Hawkins. It was amazing and beautiful and fun to her to make snow angels and snowmen and GO SLEDDING even though it seemed like a lot of people hated it. She really couldn’t figure out why. She grabbed her gloves and the hat Billy had gotten her with the little pom pom on top because he thought she looked funny, but she'd secretly loved how every time she wore it he'd giggle and swat at the pom pom like it was the funniest thing in the world. Next she grabbed her backpack and emptied it onto her bed, shoving her winter gear in with her walkie and running out of her room with her jacket and backpack in hand.

She was so excited she forgot to keep her voice down as she ran into the hallway screaming, “Mom! Mom! I got invited to go sledding! Can I go, please? Please, please, please!” She came to a sudden halt at the end of the hallway where Neil stood, staring at her with an odd look in his eyes, distant and like he was looking right through her.

“No.” was all he said.

“What? Why? I’ve spent basically the last seven months in the house mourning my brother! I never ask for anything! Why can’t I have one thing for myself?” She yelled back at him.

Everything happened too fast for Max to comprehend any of it. Neil charged at her like an animal and she dropped her stuff and turned to run. _Not fast enough._ He grabbed her by her neck and pushed her up against the wall. He started to squeeze, and she could see terror in his eyes. Like he didn’t want to be doing what he was doing. Then why was he doing it? She came back to herself and kicked him as hard as she could in the groin, making him double over in pain. She had the upper hand and she didn’t want to lose it so she grabbed the nearest thing to her – a freakin’ decorative statue of a bird, like who even wants that in their house? – and slammed it into the top of his head. She thought for sure that he would back down, but it took him only a moment to regain his composure and knock her whole body backwards sending her through the air into the wall, but not before she noticed unmistakable black veins in his neck. She felt liquid running down the side of her face and felt so, so dizzy. Neil didn’t stop there, he grabbed her again and punched her square in the jaw. She was so shocked, in so much pain, that she barely managed to hear Neil scream “NO! Not her!” as he hastily grabbed his jacket and keys and left the house.

Once it was Max all alone, she let her tears fall. She looked around herself at the broken drywall, the furniture that had been knocked over, the blood that was now running down her shoulders and staining her shirt. She saw her backpack out of the corner of her eye and crawled, ever so slowly, and laid down next to it.

She fished out the walkie and pressed the button, “Code red. Steve. Lucas. Dustin. Mike. Robin. Anyone, I need help.” She could feel herself losing consciousness. “Call 911. Please someone…” and the world went black.

\----------

Steve was out the door again in record speed. Robin was dialing 911 but he was sure he would beat them there and if Neil was inside, he would probably kill him. He could make it look like self-defense. Hell, it probably would be self-defense. His heart was racing as he sped down the roads to Cherry Lane with his bat in his passenger seat. _Please be okay Max, I’ll never forgive myself if you aren’t okay. Please hold on Max._

When he pulled in the drive the door was open, Neil’s truck gone. Steve had no idea what he was about to walk into but anything he could’ve imagined wouldn’t have prepared him for the scene in front of him. Max was on the floor, clutching her walkie, covered in blood and unconscious. There was a small hole in the drywall like he had- like he had… thrown her against it. His blood ran cold. He went over to her small form lying on the floor and whispered to her.

“Max, it’s Steve. I’m here. You’re going to be okay. Please be okay.” He sobbed. He held her hand until the paramedics got there, loading her onto a stretcher that Steve tried not to let remind him of Billy lying on one just like it. When they loaded her into the ambulance, they shooed Steve away, but he refused to leave her. No. He wouldn’t. They tried to push him out before Max gurgled, “He’s my brother.” Which made Steve cry even harder for this small, tough little girl that had survived so much and cared about him for some reason he'd yet to figure out. “I’m her brother. Now make room for me.” He said as he sat down next to her and took her hand. “I love you Max. It’s going to be okay.” She squeezed his hand.

A few hours later he, Robin, Susan, Dustin, Ms. Henderson, Mike, Mrs. Wheeler, Nancy and Lucas sat in uncomfortable seats in the lobby waiting for information on Max. Mike was on the phone with El and probably Will, letting them know what had happened. Susan had been crying since she arrived, and Steve couldn’t take it anymore without trying to help. He got up from where he was sitting, took a cup of water from the machine and some tissues, and sat down next to Susan. She looked at him with sad eyes as she said thank you and accepted both.

“You know, Mrs. Hargrove…”

“Ugh. Call me Susan. Forget the Hargrove.”

His lungs tightened as he thought of His Hargrove for a few seconds before he shook the thoughts away and continued, “Susan. This isn’t your fault. Neil lost his son and it seems like he just… snapped, but Max is such a strong little girl. She’s going to be okay.”

“I should’ve taken both of them and run… now I’ve lost one and the other is in the hospital because I married a monster. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to her. No child deserves this. Not Max, not Billy… Oh, god, Billy. I failed him so badly. His last few years were full of so much pain...” she broke down in sobs and all Steve could think to do was hug her.

“Mrs- Susan, can I tell you something?” He hesitantly asked her after she had calmed a bit.

“Sure Steve, anything.” She said earnestly.

Steve hesitated. He’d never told anyone but Max, but in that moment, he felt that Susan deserved to know she and Max weren’t the only ones who cared about Billy. He met her eyes. “I loved your son, Susan. Every day since he’s been gone, I’ve been broken. Billy… he will never be forgotten, not by any of us.” He gestured to the room around them. “Your son… he was so special.”

She didn’t look disgusted or like she was going to call him a fairy. She looked happy. “Thank you for telling me. Thank you for being here for Max all these months... you're like family, Steve, and I’m so grateful." She leaned in to hug him and pulled back at the last second to whisper "Oh, and by the way, I think my son loved you too.” She smiled as he blushed. Had Billy been that obvious about it? He sat there in silence for the next hour next to Susan, thinking about Billy, worrying about Max, and holding onto Susan's hand like a lifeline.

Some doctor came out and called out the name Maxine Mayfield. The whole room stood, and the doctor chuckled, “She’s doing okay. She had a bit of a head wound but nothing that left lasting damages. Some bruising around her neck. Needed some stitches above her eyebrow and her face is incredibly swollen but she’s going to be fine after a few weeks. Mrs. Hargrove, I do believe the police are here to speak with you about where your husband may be. I can lead you that way, and the rest of you go visit your friend. I’m sure she needs you right now.” He smiled and gestured down a long hall before adding “Room 209.”

Steve walked down the hall with Robin, Nancy, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin and the whole way he was still shaking from the shock of hearing all the damage Neil had done to Max. They knew he was dangerous. He couldn’t help but blame himself. They came up to the door of Max’s room and all froze. They knew without saying that they were all scared to see the damage up close. But Steve hesitantly brought his hand up to knock and when they heard “Come in!” they pushed the door open.

Steve breathed a sigh of relief. Sure, she looked like she had been through hell, but she smiled as she spotted them, and they all shuffled into the room. She was here, she was okay, she was alive. He breathed easier. As soon as the door shut though, Max’s face went utterly serious and she muttered words that he couldn't have conjured up in his worst nightmares.

“Neil is the new host of the Mind Flayer.” The room was dead silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, some boys on the beach.


	3. Surfer boy (and pizza).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonathan stumbles across the last person he ever thought he'd see on a beach in Florida, and he really believes his day can't get any weirder. Maybe Hawkins has a way of dousing you so deeply in the gasoline of it's misery that it will follow wherever you go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Jonathan perspective here as well as a surprise appearance from our favorite Surfer Boy and his new buddy.

Jonathan was just finishing another wedding shoot on the beach. For some reason everyone wants to take their wedding photos here. He knows if he and Nance ever got married, they wouldn’t take cheesy pictures on a beach in Miami, Florida. They’d probably get pictures taken in front of the huge murals and art sculptures at The Indianapolis Museum of Art that had become their favorite place to drive to before he moved. He missed her. He felt bad for standing on a beach while she was sitting in a hospital room waiting to hear more about Max. He'd felt sick since the moment Will had come barrelling into his room this morning, letting him know their fears for Max's safety had been well formed. Neil had finally snapped. He was silently willing Max to be okay as he walked and wondered as usual what it would be like if they were still in Hawkins, if maybe they could've stopped it, just as a flash of blonde hair passed in his peripheral and he felt sick for a moment, instantly reminded of Billy. He couldn’t help but turn and look at the boy, remembering the one that had saved their lives. He was tan like Billy had been when he first got to Hawkins (no matter how hard Jonathan tried he always just got sunburnt - even with the 100 SPF he’d smear on his face neck and shoulders before shooting, had to admit he was a little jealous). Jonathan found himself walking closer to the boy, who was obviously about to go surfing. Two other boys around his age were already paddling into the water while the Billy look alike put on some kind of tanning lotion. The closer he got the harder his heart started to beat. 

This.. this man looked just like Billy Hargrove. A slimmer, shaggy haircut, covered in tattoos, Billy Hargrove but.... 

“Billy Hargrove?” Jonathan asked. He barely recognized his voice it was so quiet. Either way the other boys head shot up, his eyes wild. He took in Jonathan’s face before regaining his composure and adding a fake smile. 

“Sorry, never heard of him. I’m Reece. What's up?” The Billy look alike asked, who was most definitely Billy Hargrove if his slimy voice, sly smile and posture said anything about it. 

Jonathan hesitated. But he knew what was going on back home. If he was standing in front of Billy Hargrove in the middle of goddamn Florida, he thought the universe might be telling him that he needed to let him know. So he hesitantly gestured to the scars that marked every inch of his torso, stretching into spider webs on his arms. He didn’t know what to say when he looked at them, the breath rushing out of him remembering that night at the mall. 

“So... where’d you get the scars, man?” Jonathan said in a shaky voice that was supposed to sound like a conversation starter but sounded more like a job interview.

“I got bit by a shark, but thanks for bringing up the trauma” Shit. Maybe Jonathan was wrong. He started to feel regret bubbling in his gut and went to apologize but just as the boy turned to walk away Jonathan caught sight of something - on his right bicep, split by a few stray scars, was a skull. Smoking a cigarette. Not Billy Hargrove my ass. 

“Okay fine, I get it _Reece_ ” Jon yelled as Billy walked away “But if you happen to see Billy Hargrove let him know that I have a message for him from STEVE about MAX!” He knew Steve hadn't been the one to call, but he also knew it may be the only thing that would make Billy listen. Sure enough, he stopped dead in his tracks, and froze. Jonathan kind of regretted it right away, but hey. At least if Billy beat his ass he had tried. Life sucks. Oh well. 

Billy turned and charged at Jonathan. He blocked his face expecting a hit. The Billy Hargrove he knew didn’t necessarily mind playing dirty, but all he got was a light shove. Enough to have him stumbling backwards but not hard enough to fall on his ass. Interesting. 

“Look Byers, I don’t know what the fuck you think you know about me, but I don’t give a shit. I don’t know who you’re talking about. Leave me the fuck alone” Billy said, if anything he didn’t sound angry, he just sounded sad. Tired. 

Jonathan couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing. He was laughing so hard he felt tears in his eyes, and through them he could see a very angry Billy.

“WHAT?” He demanded. But he lacked the fire he used to have. He reminded Jonathan of Steve. All bark and no bite with his hands on his hips. Pretty ironic. 

“Nothing I just- I never- I never introduced myself” Jonathan got out between giggles “you’re horrible at this, man.” 

Billy just leveled him with a stare. 

Jonathan came back to himself and whispered, “We... we all thought you were dead. It’s been... really hard on… everyone. And, and Max, she's in-”

Billy's scoff cut him off as he bent and picked up his surfboard. He eyed Jonathan from his peripheral and said, “Pfft, yeah okay, I’m sure everyone’s super torn up about it” His tone was dripping with sarcasm almost like he- like he didn’t believe they had all cared, had all been mourning. One of the boys in the water yelled “Hey Tucker, ya coming in or what?”

Billy turned his eyes to Jonathan and his gaze hardened, “Billy Hargrove is dead.” With that he turned and walked to join his friends surfing. Jonathan watched with complete bewilderment. Why was Billy Hargrove pretending to be dead after he saved them all?

Lucky for Jonathan and not so lucky for Mr. So Called Reece, Jonathan still had his camera around his neck. Without lifting it, he raised his hand to the shutter button and emptied his film taking photos of the boy in the water. 

\----------

Later, after running to the photo store to develop his film, Jonathan rushed into his shift at Surfer Boy Pizza. He really hated the name and the looks he’d get when someone would spy the pale kid making pizzas behind the counter. No, he was not a surfer boy, and before getting the job he hadn’t realized the sheer number of women who _actually_ called for takeout just to have it delivered by a tan, muscular guy. SO yeah, he made the pizzas. He really didn’t care, money is money. He was five minutes late, but his boss was super chill, he barely raised his hand in a greeting when Jonathan came rushing in, he was definitely stoned.

Anyway, he just had to get through five hours until he could get home, find out how Max was doing, and figure out how to drop the bomb that Billy Hargrove was maybe-probably-almost definitely alive. If the pictures were anything to go by, this was him. Alive and well, laughing and surfing like he hadn’t faced a monster from another dimension a little over half a year ago. He used his shift to distract him while he tried to figure out how to tell the others. The more he thought about it though, the more he wondered if Billy had a reason to be hiding here. He doesn’t think he would’ve wanted to leave Steve behind after what they’d heard him say the night of Starcourt. And he _definitely_ wouldn’t have left Max without a reason. His mind was running through a million possibilities ranging from government protection to clones as he spotted an order towards the bottom of the list.

Two pies for Reece Tucker. _No way._ There was no way the universe had supplied him Billy Hargrove twice in the same day without some type of divine intervention. This meant something. He put the pies in the oven and yelled to the driver “Hey man, my buddy Reece ordered, I’m going to take that one if it’s cool with you?” The driver nodded his thanks and sat down to take a break. Jonathan loaded the pizzas in his car, glanced at the address and hoped with everything inside him that his hunch was right. 

Ten minutes later he was standing in front of an apartment near the beach he had seen Billy at. It was nothing extravagant, but definitely more than he could afford, and he worked two jobs. He knocked on the door and forced himself to breathe. 

Billy opened it smiling. The smile completely dropped from his face when he recognized Jonathan and he groaned. “Oh god man, really? What’re you, stalking me now?”

Jonathan recovered quickly and held out the pizzas. “Uh, no. You ordered pizza from the place I work. Right?” 

Billy leaned his head against the doorframe with what looked like defeat. “Yeah Byers, I guess I did.” He stepped back and grabbed some bills off a table next to the door and pushed them in Jonathan’s direction while grabbing for the pizzas. Jonathan’s heart started to beat faster as he realized he only had a few seconds to convince Billy to talk to him. He had no clue where to start. 

“Max is in the hospital.” Probably not with that. _Shit._

The color drained from Billy’s face. He searched Jonathan’s face like he was hoping to find a lie there, but he must not have found anything because he hit the door at the same time that there was a loud crash somewhere further in the apartment. “ _What happened_?” He demanded. 

“Neil happened.”

“FUCK!” Billy screamed like he was in pain and turned to walk into the apartment. More crashing sounds made their way to the foyer. Although he wasn’t invited, Jonathan followed and closed the door. He knew Billy wasn’t done asking questions. He was pacing back and forth in the living room, fists clenched and face pale. He faced away from Jonathan. “How bad is it?” He asked. 

Jonathan hesitated again. “To be honest, I don’t know. They called from the hospital earlier, but she was still being examined. I was supposed to call Steve to find out how she is when I get off.” 

At the mention of Steve’s name, Billy turned around to face him. “Steve’s with her?”

“Yeah man. He’s been with her since it happened, never left her side. Even rode in the ambulance... He’s uh.. he’s really protective of her, now. Seems to spend most of his time with her, really...”

Billy didn’t seem to know what to make of that but he moved quickly, mumbling something about how if he could _find Steve, maybe he could find Max_. He pulled a chair up to his tv, switched it to a channel with static and pulled a blindfold from his pocket that he tied around his eyes. 

“Holy fucking.. holy shit. No way.” Jonathan gasped as blood started to drip from Billy’s nose. 

“Shut the hell up, man. I need to concentrate.” Billy said. Jonathan shut the hell up. 

——————

Billy was used to the blank space. It came with the powers he had gained, that sometimes he would accidentally slip into the blank space. Sometimes he’d wake up there, or he’d zone out while surfing and come to after being pulled down by a wave. It still scared him if he was being honest. It was a void. Utterly dark. There was nothing there unless he searched for it, hence, the blank space. Sometimes it would provide him with what he felt like was important information. Certain places he needed to go, which is how he’d ended up in Miami, and on the same beach as Jonathan freakin’ Byers _and_ apparently ordered pizza from his place of work in the same day – the blank space had led him to it. He had thought, of all people, why did it have to be Byers? He guessed now he knows.

When Billy had first woken in the lab and discovered his new powers, he had been mercilessly pulled into the blank space. He couldn’t seem to stay in reality for more than ten minutes, and every time he’d see Jim Hopper. It took him a long time to figure out that the powers he holds now used to be El’s, and that her powers yearned for Hopper. He had become pretty close with the man, who was seemingly the only person he could speak to in the blank space. Hopper was locked in a cell somewhere in Russia, and he wouldn’t let Billy tell anyone. He said there was nothing that could be done until they came up with a plan that wouldn’t involve anyone from Hawkins potentially getting hurt. And, from what Billy had seen, the most important people to them both would be some of the group that would _most definitely_ try sneaking into a foreign country to break into a prison to save him and potentially get themselves killed.

So, they had been working on a plan.

Meanwhile he’d told Hopper all about his life, exchanging stories with the man as if they were both stuck in Billy’s head. Hopper had told him about everything they'd been through in the past few years, explaining to him the names the nerds had come up with, like _Mind Flayer and Demodogs and Demogorgon,_ and Billy had laughed his ass off that they'd gotten the names for _monsters_ from a literal _board game._ Hopper missed El and Joyce. Billy missed Max and Steve. Most of their conversations circled around the four of them. Hop didn’t judge Billy like he thought he might at first, in fact he didn’t judge him for anything; not for being gay, not for everything his father had done, not for what he had done to Steve, not even for running from the Mind Flayer all the way to Miami fucking Florida like some pussy. All Hop cared about was that Billy had saved El. He said he didn’t give a shit about the rest. Hop had laughed his ass off when he told him how he’d scared Neil half to death before he went into hiding, to make sure he wouldn’t hurt Max. _That didn’t work so well after all, I guess._ Hop had told him his own dad had been the same way as Neil. In turn he had told Hop about how the government gave him the choice to stay dead or to go back, and he couldn’t face going back. The Mind Flayer told him he’d never escape, that It would find him no matter where he was. So, he reasoned with himself that he was keeping them all safe. Keeping the Mind Flayer away from them all, but honestly, he couldn’t face the kids, after he had tried to hurt them. He couldn’t face the town of Hawkins that he had stolen so many of. He couldn’t face Steve after what he’d told him when he thought he was going to die. _Steve._

Suddenly Steve was in front of Billy in the blank space. He looked tired and worried, sitting in a hospital waiting room. Billy was frozen in place looking at the boy he loved who looked so scared - he had only seen glimpses of him since That Night, when he concentrated hard enough, he would see Steve in the blank space for a few moments, when he always seemed to be reading. He had only been able to sit with Steve for longer than a few moments the night before, and it had been a with the terrifying realization that Max had given him his letters. His letters that Steve had been reading daily, unknowingly calling out to Billy from the void. He had tried to be angry, but he didn’t feel the same burning fury inside him that he did _before_. It had stung but seeing Steve clutch the journal to his chest had eased the pain and let him breathe. Steve had looked peaceful, so utterly different from the boy in front of him now. He had spoken to Steve all night, not sure if he could hear him at all, telling him all about surfing and the beach and his new tie die surfboard that he really only got because the colors had reminded him of the multicolor polos and windbreakers Steve would constantly wear. As soon as Steve had woken up and moved the journal though, he was gone. He was overcome with the urge to reach out and touch him now, but when he did, his hand swirled through Steve’s image and suddenly there were memories floating all around him. Steve, hearing Max calling for help. Steve running into his house and begging Max to be okay - why couldn’t he see Max? Steve, standing in the ambulance and refusing to leave. Saying he’s Max’s brother. Hearing “I love you, Max. It’s going to be okay.” And Billy was sobbing. This boy. _He knew_ he would take care of Max. He knew he would step up and be the brother Billy never quite could be. 

The blank space rearranged as he listened to a doctor list off everything Neil had done to Max. His heart was racing and his blood was pumping so hard he could feel it in his hands as he followed Steve, the girl he'd worked with at Scoops that had helped carry him out of the mall (He should really know her name by now), Nancy, and half the nerd herd down a hallway to the room Max was in. He heard her yell for them to come in and. There she was. 

Max. She looked... horrible. His heart broke into a million pieces finally seeing her face again and seeing it so swollen and barely recognizable. He took a moment to stare at her. God, he missed her. His Mad Max, full of fire and fury and bite and so much kindness too. He hadn’t been able to find her in the blank space before. He’d convinced himself that maybe he just didn’t deserve to see her after everything he’d done. He got that; he really did. But seeing her now he felt the smile spread across his face and his chest go warm. He’d always been in awe of her strength. She was smiling even now, hooked to an IV, as her friends took in her battered state... until she wasn’t anymore. 

Her next words had him screaming, running, yanking the blindfold off his face, and gasping for breath. 

Jonathan rushed over to Billy to keep him from busting his ass on the floor, he had shot up so quickly his chair had rocked back, and Jonathan caught it. He looked like he’d seen a ghost when Billy finally gathered himself enough to look up.

“This is fucking bad. I’ll explain in the car. We’ve gotta get to Hawkins. _Now_.”

As Jonathan used his phone to dial into work and claim a fake car accident, he placed the blindfold back over his eyes and quickly slipped into the blank space to see Hop. "Hey, old man!" Hopper looked up from where he was sitting on the floor playing cards. "The plan starts now. Get ready." Hop didn't ask any questions, only sat up straighter and gave Billy a small smile and a nod. "See you on the other side, kid." And he let Hop fade away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3 I can't believe I've already gotten hits on this work, like I've said before this is my first time writing a fic but I love this fandom. Please feel free to leave any comments, critiques, or opinions on the story for me to check out. Means the world to me that you're with me on this journey.


	4. Fuck it all.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve knows he has to keep his family safe, and that's exactly what he plans to do.

The shock of hearing Max’s words took much longer for him to recover from than for the kids, as usual. The room was suddenly full of them screaming over each other. Asking Max what happened, if she was sure, how did she know it was the Mind Flayer, and oh god they needed to call El and Will, and he could barely hear any of it over the ringing in his ears. He turned his head to look at Robin and Nancy and saw shock and fear and what must look very similar to the utter dread he felt taking over his own expressions.

 _It’s been less than a year. It always comes back. Will they ever escape this nightmare?_ Surprisingly he was the first of the three adults in the room to regain his composure and he stepped forward, silently motioning to the boys to stop. Even more surprisingly, they all listened, which spoke to the level of fear they were no doubt feeling as well. Billy had been scary, but Neil… Neil is already a monster. How do you defeat a monster inside of another monster?

“Max… Are you absolutely sure about this?” He asked her. He walked over and took her hand, it was shaking.

“When he was hurting me, he… he had this look in his eyes. The same look that… that Billy had in the sauna, like he didn’t want to hurt me… you know? When he… when he threw me, there were black veins going up his neck and he screamed, ‘No! Not her!’ before he left, so… I’m pretty fucking positive.” Max said quietly.

The room was quiet again as everyone soaked in that information. God, Max is lucky to be alive.

“What are we going to do?” She asked Steve, and Steve… he didn’t know.

“I don’t know Max, but I know we’ll figure it out. We have to get somewhere safe as soon as you get out of here and bring everyone with us. He’ll be looking for El and Will, so he’ll try to get them through us.” He turned to the rest of the room. “We have to let Joyce know to keep them as far away as possible and… we have to handle this ourselves. I don’t know what else we _can_ do.”

Nancy finally seemed to pull herself together enough to speak. “Steve is right. El doesn’t have her powers anymore so there’s no use putting them in danger, but the Mind Flayer will still want her. Right now, they’re safe, but the rest of us,” she gulped “the rest of us are… not.” She turned to Mike, “Mom and Dad are taking Holly to visit Nana this week, so they’ll be safe too.” Then she turned to the rest of the kids. “What about your families?”

Lucas hesitated only a moment, glancing at Max from the corner of his eye. Steve could see the pain he felt looking at the girl he loved battered and bruised. He could relate. “My parents will actually be gone this week too. Some medical conference for my dad. Erica is staying with my aunt. I don’t… I don’t think the Mind Flayer ever saw Erica, or even Robin actually. I’m supposed to be staying at Dustin’s, but uh…” He glanced at Max again. Robin let out a small sigh of relief that Steve knew came from the knowledge that her family was most likely safe.

Max squeezed Steve’s hand. He knew she was scared for her friends. He also knew it had to be hard for the enemy to again be someone from her own family.

She spoke up, “My mom comes with us.” And Dustin was quick to follow with, “My mom too.”

“Okay… so we wait for Max to get discharged, we stay together, and we go… where do we go, Steve?” Robin asked.

Steve thought about it for a few moments before a lightbulb went off in his head. “My parents… they have a house on Lake Monroe. It’s just a few miles from Bloomington. It’s a bit of a drive but… while we figure out a plan, we would at least be safe there.”

“But how the hell are we going to convince my mom and Susan, no offense Max, to just take a random trip to Lake Monroe _during a school week?_ ” Dustin asked.

Steve hesitated. He knew all about the contracts they had signed, how his life was in danger for even thinking of doing what he was most definitely going to do, but the government had promised them they would be safe. They had promised them over and over and _over_ again that the threat was gone and that everything would be _fine,_ but nothing was ever fine. It always came back. It always came back _for them._ Joyce, Jonathan, Will and El had moved _across the country_ to try and escape it, Hopper was gone, Billy was gone, Bob was gone, Barb was gone. Countless others, gone. No one was protecting them.

He looked down at the redhead lying in the hospital bed still clutching his hand. He felt such a fierce protectiveness over her. He looks at her and sees small pieces of the boy he loved, but he loves her too. After Billy’s funeral he had walked up to the headstone to talk to Billy. He’d told him he loved him, but he’d also made a promise. A promise to take care of Max, to look after her and make sure nothing bad happened to her, to do all the things a brother should do, that Billy would’ve done, before his chance was taken. He promised he’d take care of her in all the ways Billy had deserved to be taken care of but never gotten. He had already failed her and Billy once, and he wouldn’t do it again. He looked around the room at all the other faces, the other people he felt that same protectiveness for. His family. He would burn the Mind Flayer alive before he let it get any of them.

_Fuck their contracts. Fuck the lab, fuck the Mind Flayer. Fuck it all._

“We tell them the truth.”

\----------

So that’s how Steve ended up squeezed into the Beemer with Robin in the passenger seat, Susan, Max and Lucas in the back, heading to the lake house.

Nancy followed close behind with Mike, Dustin, and Ms. Henderson.

Their story to the Wheelers was that Mike was staying with Lucas. To the Sinclairs, Lucas was staying with Dustin. To the Buckleys, Robin was staying with Nancy, _and also_ , Nancy was staying with Robin.

It wasn’t foolproof, but it was enough to get them all out of Hawkins with bags packed and on the road by 10:30 that night.

Nancy had taken the task of speaking to Susan and Ms. Henderson, promising them the whole story later, but telling them that the mall explosion had been faked by the government and that their kids were in danger in a hushed tone in the alley behind the hospital had apparently been enough for both of them to willingly come along.

Steve had picked all of them up, not wanting to raise suspicion by leaving all their cars parked at his house. At least Neil had no way of knowing they were all together, heading away from town. He breathed easier when they were all in the car and had met up with Nancy’s group at the quarry. _Everyone was still safe._

The drive was tense, and Steve kept glancing in the rear view mirror to make sure Nancy was still following, catching glimpses each time he looked of Susan with one arm around Lucas and one around Max, both kids sleeping soundly on her shoulders, an ice pack held up to Max’s swollen face. She smiled at him when he’d glance backwards, then press a kiss to the top of Max’s head.

They had been unable to contact the Byers, so they would have to wait until they got to the lake house. Steve had left a quick message on their answering machine that his horrible, horrible cold was BACK so he was leaving town as to not get anyone _else sick_ , for them to stay SAFE because Will had caught it a few years back and Billy had it too, _and it had been a doozy,_ and left the lake house’s number. He hoped they understood what he was trying to say. He knew he sounded like a crazy person, okay, but what the hell was he supposed to say?

Steve couldn’t help but wish that Billy was here. Billy was strong, and he could fight. He could lead. He could step up to the plate without an ounce of doubt and take over. Steve, however, was doubting himself the whole drive.

\----------

They arrived at the cabin around 3 AM, after having stopped for the kids to use the bathroom what felt like ten times. Steve grabbed his bag and all the others that he could carry from the trunk, and at the last second, he grabbed his bat. _It’s something._

He hurried up the steps and unlocked the door, ushering everyone inside and directing the kids to rooms where he was sure they’d knock out as soon as their heads hit a pillow.

Steve, Nancy, Robin, Susan, and Ms. H- ( _Steve honey, you better stop calling me that, that’s my mama. I’m Claudia)_ and _Claudia_ gathered around the kitchen table to fill the two adults in on the full story. They started way back at the beginning when Will had gone missing. Susan was extremely pale and breathing heavy and Claudia kept holding her hand to her mouth, whispering “ _My Dusty?”_ multiple times.

About halfway through the story the phone rang. Steve glanced at the clock which read 4:26 AM and then at Nancy, cocking an eyebrow like, “ _Who’s calling this early?”_ Nance shrugged and went to grab the phone.

Steve took the much needed break the call had offered to get up and stretch his legs. He was exhausted, and talking about the Upside Down, about everything they’d faced, always made him anxious and antsy. It was a whole new experience to explain the entire alternate dimension to people who’d never seen any of it up close – they had to use so much _detail_. He shuddered and glanced at Susan who was putting water to boil in a kettle on the stove, visibly shaken.

_We haven’t even gotten to the part with Billy yet._

Before his mind could start winding down that particular path, Steve heard Nancy’s voice rise at least three octaves as she yelled into the phone, “YOU’RE WHAT?”

He rounded the corner to see her staring off into the distance with a shocked look on her face.

“Okay but Jon- if you left- how did you even… you called here.”

“HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?”

“Jonathan, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

“Okay. Okay, I will. Um, 1346 Marina Drive. Yeah, Lake Monroe.” A confused look crossed her face as she glanced at Steve, “Uh, yeah… he’s here. Max and Susan, yeah, and uh, and the kids too? Oh, okay… I know, I know, I trust you. Be safe. I love you.” She hung up the phone and turned to look at the rest of them that had come in to investigate the yelling.

“The Byers… they’re already halfway here.”


	5. A price to pay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy finally understands why he'd been led to Florida as he reunites with the Byers and they head back to Hawkins.

As soon as Jonathan got off the phone with his boss, Billy was bounding out the door with the bag he had thrown together. Jonathan went for his car, and Billy shouted “Uh no! We take my car.” Jonathan looked confused and Billy tried, he really tried not to look at this beanpole like he was an idiot. “You JUST told your boss you wrecked your car. Wouldn’t be good for him to spot you speeding through town. Plus, my car is faster.” He reached for the garage handle and threw it up, revealing his prized possession. A brand new Camaro. Really, he didn’t know why Jonathan looked so surprised. _I mean, what other car would he have chosen_ , with all the money the government had thrown at him for the information he gave them (and _promised them_ ) about the Mind Flayer he was practically set for life if he lived _moderately_ careful of it, and he really didn’t think the boy would pick up on the fact that he had chosen this one because red is Steve’s favorite color. Billy only knew because he’d been listening to Steve talking to some girl in English that first year as she’d obnoxiously popped her gum and giggled, _“what’s your favorite color?”_ Anyway, it was red.

They headed for the Camaro, and at the last second Jonathan grabbed a sledgehammer from Billy’s garage, walked over to his car and brought it down _hard_ a few times, cracking the windshield easily and leaving some damage to the hood and headlights. Billy must’ve been wearing one hell of a shocked expression, because Jonathan turned to him, shrugged, and said, “authenticity” before getting into the passenger side of Billy’s. He sped off towards the Byers’, anxiety boiling in his stomach, only halfway listening to Jonathan’s directions because he somehow just… knew where to go. Only a few moments later they pulled up to a little house not even a ten minute walk from Billy’s apartment. It caught him off guard when he let out a loud, surprised laugh. Jonathan looked at him questioningly and he managed “I mean… we both moved across the fucking country, and somehow you live five minutes from me. What the fuck is it with Hawkins? Does it just… get in your skin and never truly fuck off?” Jonathan shook his head and smiled, but it was a small thing. They were both afraid.

As he was walking up the drive, he was hit for the first time with the sudden, terrifying realization that not only was he about to see El, but if everything went as planned… _He’d be seeing Max and Steve too._ _Oh shit_. He tried not to let the anxiety choke him, but the realization had smacked him so hard he was vomiting in the Byers front lawn within seconds. Jonathan turned to a doubled over, vomiting Billy and screamed for help. “MOM! WILL! EL!” All three of which came barreling out of the house a few seconds later, all three of which froze like they’d seen a ghost when their eyes landed on Billy. Oh, yeah. He _was_ supposed to be dead. Damn, this is _not_ an ideal reunion. The first time they get a good look at him and he’s throwing up all over their yard… damnit, Jonathan.

El was seemingly the first to collect herself as she came running towards Billy. He’d deny it if anyone asked him later but he tensed up; he wasn’t sure what she thought of him and he truly didn’t know what to expect from her, but as soon as she reached him she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. He felt tears spring to his eyes as soon as she touched him, and a calm he hadn’t felt since he was a child settled into his bones. _Well, that’s new._ He practically melted into the hug. “Billy. You’re alive.” She said. “Yeah, yeah kid I am.” Billy managed through his tears as suddenly Will was hugging him too, and then Joyce. He sobbed but still eyed Byers like, “ _ya sure ya don’t want a hug too?”_ Byers laughed then seemed to come back to himself a bit.

“You guys… this is the good news, but we have bad news too. Let’s get in the house.” Billy could see the pained look in Jonathan’s eyes as they walked inside, and he chose to spare him from telling his family their mortal enemy had returned in the form of _his_ own father. Once they reached the living room they all sat down, El and Will looking at Billy with _awe_ in their eyes, and he felt even worse about what he was about to say. He had to look away as he dropped the bomb.

“The uh, The Mind Flayer is… back, and Neil… is the host. That's um, why he hurt Max.” He glanced back at them when the room fell silent.

Joyce and Will had lost all color from their faces, but El just looked determined. Not twenty seconds passed before she replied. “Well, no time to waste. Let’s go.” Everyone sprang into action. While the Byers grabbed their things, Billy excused himself to use the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush from his bag to clean the vomit taste from his mouth. _Fucking gross_. As he was leaving the bathroom, he spotted the phone and he knew it was time. He pulled out the crumpled piece of paper in his back pocket and prayed to whatever God was listening that this worked. He dialed the number with shaking hands. “This is Billy Hargrove. It’s back.” He clenched his teeth as he said the next words, “1667 Cherry Lane. Hawkins, Indiana. Neil Hargrove. Set the plan in motion.” Before anyone replied, he hung up and leaned against the wall, trying to maintain his crumbling composure but fully aware of the price he had just paid. His own dad’s life for Hopper’s. Not that the man was a picture of loving family values, but he was still his _dad._ His dad that he just threw to the wolves. He could barely breathe as El walked up next to him with her backpack and leaned against his side, and again she calmed him deeply. His speeding pulse slowed to an almost normal pace and he felt the shaking in his body dissipate. He wondered how she did that without her powers. She surprised him by looking up at him and stating “We share them now” with a shrug like, _no big deal._

 _What?_ “Uh… whatcha mean, kid? We share them now?”

She nodded. “We are like… Will’s comics. Superman and Wonder Woman. We have different powers, but with us they are…” She searched for the words, holding out her hands pressed together, “shared. We are… connected.”

“So… can you still move things? Can you go to… the blank space?” He didn’t know if she’d understand what he meant, but of course she did. “No, I can’t move things. I cannot fight. I cannot choose what is in the blank space anymore or search for people; I can only… see what is already happening. I can hear thoughts but only sometimes, and I can feel... certain things, when the person is someone I care about. But the rest of my powers… I feel them in you. I felt something missing before, and now I know why.” She gave him a smile and suddenly… everything made sense. No wonder he had seen Hopper so often, he was _connected_ to El. He was feeling her _pain. His powers were trying to help her._ So much about the last half year of his life suddenly slid into place. He had thought the feeling of loneliness he was crushed with daily was only for Steve and Max, but his powers had also been calling out to El. _The blank space had led him to Miami to find her. He should’ve known there was a reason he came here._ He crouched down so he was eye level with her and laid a hand on her shoulder. “El… do you know about your…”

“My dad. Yes. I see him in the blank space, but I cannot save him. He told me that Superman would come and save the day. I didn’t believe him, but… I do now. I thought… I thought you had died. But you are Superman.” She smiled.

His heart clenched. Billy Hargrove is a lot of things, but a hero? He wouldn’t add that to a very long list of adjectives he’d use to describe himself. He looked away from her, back to where Joyce was frantically throwing things in bags.

“Do the rest of them know?” He asked her.

“No. Dad says they are mourning. There is no use getting their hopes up until… until he’s safe.” Billy looked back to her and there were tears in her eyes.

“Hey. It’ll be okay. I have some pretty tough guys going to rescue him, okay? He’ll be okay. We’ll all be okay, El.”

He didn’t know if he was trying to convince El or himself. However, he would also not add “pretty tough guys” to a long list of adjectives describing Sam Owens, but Hop had faith in him, so Billy tried to trust that he would save him. He wrapped an arm around El and lead her to the car, where Joyce threw the last bag into the trunk, slammed it, and walked to the passenger side. Will, El, and Jonathan climbed into the back as he started the car and they were off. To save the world. _Again._

\----------

Billy drove and he drove _fast._ No one in the car mentioned the speed, they were all anxious to get to Hawkins. Billy was determined to do the seventeen hour drive in way less than seventeen hours. He listened to Will and El in the backseat, talking about seeing the rest of the nerds and _Mama Steve_ , (holy shit, he’d have to remember to tease Harrington about that one) and he felt just a little bit more whole knowing he was in a car of people that were determined to protect the people he loved. Somewhere just before Georgia, El gasped from the backseat and Billy jumped about a foot in the air when he heard her say, “It’s Steve.” He _knew_ it was illogical, but that didn’t stop him from pulling the car over, or stop his head from whipping around in all directions as he shouted “WHERE?” Byers let out a laugh like he was in on some joke.

“No. Steve is leaving a message. Phone.” She began reciting words like she was listening to them and repeating what she heard.

“Joyce, It’s Steve. I have bad news. That horrible, horrible cold is back, so I’m leaving town so no one else gets sick. Just wanted to warn you to stay safe, it’s the same cold Will caught a few years back and Billy’d had it too, before, and it had been a… um, a doozy?” El reached out in front of her, “Someone give me a pen.” Billy pulled one from the center console where his new journal was and handed it back. “He says he is… going to a lake house. He left the number.” She wrote it down and handed it to Jonathan. Her nose was bleeding, and it struck Billy that she was the only other person who really _understood._ He reached back into his console where he kept a pack of wet wipes for this exact reason and handed those back to her too.

“Thank you, Billy. Are you worried that Steve is sick?” _Oh... oh god. No, not Steve. Neil couldn’t have gotten to Steve._

Joyce spoke up before Billy could spiral. “He’s not sick, honey. He’s warning us that the Mind Flayer is back, and he’s probably taking everyone somewhere safe. That’s just Steve being Steve, probably had no idea what to say.” Billy smiled and then his stomach turned at the thought of actually seeing the boy… so soon. Like, at the end of this drive, soon. He felt nauseous again. She pulled out the map and studied it for a second before saying, “Okay, we’ll have to wait a few hours to call. They’re safe for now, we can all breathe. Pedal to the metal, Billy.” She didn’t have to say it twice.

\----------

Three hours back into the drive and halfway through Georgia, Billy pulled over for gas and Jonathan switched with Joyce, so Will and El could get some rest leaning against her. Joyce fell asleep soon after, too, and it was just him and Jonathan speaking in hushed tones about whether David Bowie or Freddie Mercury is cooler. He wasn’t so bad, actually. Not that he’d admit that out loud.

He checked the rearview mirror to make sure everyone was still sleeping before he whispered, “Hey… uh, Jonathan?”

“Yeah?”

“Steve… uh, does Steve…” He felt even more nauseous and he wasn’t sure if he could do this. _Jesus._ He didn’t know how Harrington felt about him and by this point in the drive he was losing his mind. What if he wasn’t happy to see Billy? What if he hated him, thought he was some freak for saying he loved him? What if he didn’t want him around after everything he’d done? What if told him to _Get Out_ and punched Billy in the face?

Jonathan seemed to sense his inner turmoil. “Billy, look… I, I can’t speak for Steve, but I can speak for what I’ve seen and I… I watch people, you know?” Billy managed to give him a _look_ out of the corner of his eye and they both laughed a little. “Okay, that sounded creepy, but I observe, and I’m honest. I can go ahead and tell you we all heard you that night, what you said to Steve” Billy’s stomach dropped to his ass and he was _definitely_ going to vomit, “and none of us gave a shit.” _Oh. Wait, what?_

“Steve… he was crushed. I’ve never seen him like he was the months after you _died._ ” He gave Billy another look, “I mean, we were all heartbroken dude, seriously. You… you gave your life for El and the rest of us then confessed your love for Steve and died? It was tragic man. I don’t know how Steve _feels_ about you, but I know he mourned your loss harder than anyone besides Max. I know he still goes to your grave, and I know something about him… changed that day.”

Billy was crying, _when the hell did he become such a crier?_ “Thank you. I uh, as you can imagine, I never thought I’d see him again, or Max, and I’m… scared.”

Jonathan looked at Billy like he’d grown two heads. “Did you just… you’re _scared?_ First of all, let me take that off the list of things I never thought I’d hear. Second, you faced a literal demon from another dimension with your bare hands. Steve and Max? That’s easy in comparison.”

Billy… wasn’t so sure.

Once they made it through Georgia and into Tennessee in record time, they pulled over at another gas station to stretch their legs and call the lake house. Billy stood close by while Jonathan gripped the piece of paper El had written the number on, put some quarters in the machine and dialed. Billy blinked into the blank space involuntarily as El slipped her hand into his and tuned in to what was happening. Nice to know he isn’t the only one who likes to snoop. Ha.

Nancy was walking towards a ringing phone in front of him. He was shocked at how much clearer he could see in the void with El’s hand in his. It was almost like he was really there, standing in the room with El and Nancy. She picked it up with a whispered, “Hello?”

Outside the void he heard Jonathan breathe a deep sigh of relief from hearing her voice. “Oh god, Nance. I was so worried. Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, I’m better now that I know you got Steve’s message and you’re safe.” She smiled into the phone.

“Actually uh, I didn’t get… We’re on the way there.”

Nancy’s smile dropped and she yelled the next words, “YOU’RE WHAT?”

Billy could distantly hear Jonathan explaining that they had left a few hours after the call about Max and telling Nancy where they were, but he was completely focused on the tall brunette that came rounding the corner. His breath hitched and he stood there staring at him. He had never been able to see Steve this clearly on his own. He could see now that he was skinnier and somehow even more pale. The shadows under his eyes were so dark Billy was stunned. He looked… miserable. He stepped closer, trying to memorize every detail of the boy in front of him in case this was the last time he saw him before he punched Billy’s face in.

“Okay but Jon- if you left- how did you even… you called here.” Nancy said, and Steve looked lost. It almost made him laugh to see the expression on his face, after so long it still looked the same. Just totally confused. Harrington’s usual state. His heart skipped a beat.

“You have to trust me Nancy. We’re coming because you need our help with Neil.” Billy flinched and Nancy screeched.

“HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?”

“We just… Nancy please, I can’t talk about it over the phone, we just knew.”

“Jonathan, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.” Steve looked even more lost, but also worried. Bless him.

“I know. I’m sorry Nance, it’ll all make sense when we get there. Just give me a few more hours. Can you um, read me the address?”

“Okay. Okay, I will. Um, 1346 Marina Drive.”

“It’s on a lake?”

“Yeah, Lake Monroe.”

“Okay, thanks Nance. Look… can you uh, make sure... Steve’s there too, right? Max?”

“Uh, yeah… he’s here.” Steve’s face twisted in confusion and Billy wanted nothing more than to explain everything. He guessed he’d get his chance soon. “Max and Susan, yeah, and uh, and the kids too?”

_Susan? What the fuck? How did Susan get involved in this too? Was Billy's whole damn family fighting this thing?_

“I knew you’d take care of the kids Nance, didn’t even have to ask. I love you so much, I promise it’ll all make sense soon, okay? We’ll be there in no time.”

“Oh, okay… I know, I know, I trust you. Be safe. I love you.” In the blank space, Nancy turned to the others in the room to explain but he couldn’t take his eyes off Steve as he faded away.

When he blinked back into reality, Jonathan was walking back towards the car and El still stood by Billy’s side.

“Thanks for helping me see Steve.” He already knew she could feel how strongly he loved the boy, no use in lying to her. “I’ve tried so hard but... I can’t find him easily on my own.”

“Yeah well… thanks for saving my life.” She smiled and whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.”

They walked to the Camaro hand in hand. Whatever fate awaited Billy with Steve, and with Max, and with _Neil,_ he knew he felt a million times better facing it head on with El by his side.


	6. One chance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kali has a lot of making up to do.

It’s no secret to anyone that Kali Prasad is not a fan of authority figures. How she ended up in the back of a _military_ plane _,_ on the way to _fucking Russia,_ with a doctor from _Hawkins Lab,_ and some strange journalist slash… conspiracy theorist, not to mention a group of soldiers… to save a damn _cop?_ It was beyond her, but she guessed that’s the type of thing that happens when you’re a government experiment with a little sister that can open gates between dimensions. Shit. Jane. She knew she had a lot of making up to do. It just wasn’t in her nature to _take care_ of people. She had always had to take care of herself. Kali first, because no one _else_ was going to take care of her.

In the year and a half she’d spent without her sister, though, she’d yearned to be there for her. To take care of her. She may have messed up her first chance, pushed Jane too hard… She had forgotten what it felt like to be like Jane, to care about pain she was causing someone else, even if that person had hurt her. Jane had… reminded her, what it felt like to feel things for others. Her heart had broken watching her run away, screaming her name and hoping she’d turn around, but she didn’t. Sure, Kali loved Axel, and Funshine, and the others. But she wouldn’t necessarily go on a rescue mission that could end in her death for anyone besides Jane. Like she said, she had a lot of making up to do. Trying to save Jane’s dad was the least she could do.

She had felt Jane’s pain from the moment her dad was gone. It had radiated out of the void into Kali’s head like a smoke signal, screaming for help, and she wouldn’t, _couldn’t_ turn her back on her sister. She had slipped into the void for the first time since she was eight to look for her, feeling frantic at the idea of someone causing Jane this amount of pain. Searching for something, anything that could help her find her. She had steered clear of the void for so long that it was overwhelming to reenter it. So many memories, vividly placed in front of her that she had desperately tried to forget. The man she had called _Papa,_ hurting her… hurting Jane. At the first sight of Jane, she had concentrated on her and the void had shifted. Memories of Jane’s, alone in the woods, being adopted, falling in love, fighting _monsters_ , protecting her friends, losing her father… they all swirled in front of Kali as she focused on the little girl and the man who had been by her side through it all. Then he was right in front of her, skinnier than he had been in Jane’s memories, sitting in… a cell. It had hit her like a brick wall when she realized he was alive. She could help, she could bring him back to Jane. She’d seen Sam Owens bleeding on the floor of a stairwell in Jane’s memories, her dad telling him how he’d been hiding her and asking the man to help give her a normal life… and it seemed as though he had tried. The papers that read _Jane Hopper_ still swirled in her mind even now, not stuffed into a box or put into a file cabinet, but right there on her fridge. _“A reminder for both of us,_ ” she’d heard Hopper say to Jane, “ _that you are my daughter. That you are my family.”_

Family. Something that Kali had only ever dreamed of when she was young and naïve, but something that Jane had found, and she wouldn’t let it be ripped away from her after everything she’d faced to protect it. She had done the _unthinkable_ when she had reached out to Owens. _Never in a million years_ did she think she’d be willing to put herself back on the radar of the Hawkins Lab. But Jane was more important than her autonomy. Jane was her only _family._ She had no other option.

So, there she sat. Next to Owens, next to Murray Bauman, on the way to fight Russians, because some teen she’d never met said it was time. That the… _shadow_ of a monster that Jane had fought before was back. They couldn’t wait. Jane needed her dad. She shuddered. Kali had faced human after human monster, took them down easily and without a second’s hesitation. But her sister… she’d fought _real monsters_. Demons. Jane was so strong, and she needed to be strong too. For her. She glanced over at the men who were both as lost in thought as she, and hoped she was doing the right thing. “Okay. Let’s go over the plan.” She nodded to them and the group of soldiers to get their attention. “We have one chance at this. If they know we’re after him, they’ll kill him before we even get the chance to save him.” She’d never forgive herself if she was the reason they killed Jane’s dad. Owens took a deep breath beside her and began to go over the plan again. She could see the fear in his eyes. She could _feel_ the pain he felt for the man they were trying to rescue. _He must be one hell of a cop._ They would use Kali’s powers to show the Russians the image of the shadow monster. They would let them know it was back, show them the new… host, and let them believe that Hopper knew his location. Then they would wait. They’d wait in some tiny house on a tiny street in Hawkins, and they’d attack. One chance to save him. One chance to get her sister back. Just one chance. She shuddered again, as Owens announced, “All right, we’re approaching the airspace of the prison. Kali, get ready.”

One fucking chance… and here we go.


	7. Home.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve thought they were safe.

Steve must’ve fallen asleep at some point during the story, because he woke from a perfect dream of blonde curls and blue eyes and tan skin and a husky voice saying his name and telling him to _hold on_ , to _be strong for him_ to piercing daylight, the smell of coffee, and… screaming kids. Not _that unusual_ , even when the Upside Down _wasn’t_ trying to kill them, but still enough to have him shooting up from the armchair he was in and running down the hall as fast as he could to find them. He could hear Max screaming, and his heart was pounding in his chest.

They weren’t in the bedrooms. No one in the bathrooms. No one in the living room. The screaming was getting louder and louder. He took the steps to the storm cellar two at a time, fear pumping through his veins. Finally, he spotted them, and he came to a sudden halt at the bottom of the steps.

They were… they were…

“Are you guys FUCKING kidding me!” They all whipped their heads around, four sets of eyes looking at him and looking _so_ extremely guilty.

“Uh, hi Steve!” _Nice try Max._ She was using her super innocent voice. He saw right through it.

“Are you shitheads… seriously playing fucking D&D right now?! OF ALL TIMES?” He screamed at them.

“Steve, my man… we were bored as shit!”

“Yeah okay Dustin, but I was _sleeping,_ and I heard you all _screaming_ , and in case you forgot the fucking Mind Flayer is back!” _Jesus. These kids were going to give him a heart attack._ He sat down on the steps and tried to catch his breath. The nerds went back to screaming at each other and ignoring him, so he spoke loud enough to be heard over the mind numbing sound. “All right… I mean I get it! You were BORED! I guess I’ll just have to tell Will when he gets here that you were all trying to play without your dungeon master.”

Blessed silence. For about three seconds.

“WHAT!”

“WILL’S COMING?”

“Does that mean El’s coming too?!”

More than one of the shitheads were screaming again and _okay, now he's getting a headache._

Mike’s face went all moony at the sound of El’s name and Steve felt a little stab of pain in his chest. Mike would get to see El and Nancy would get to see Jonathan. He’s happy for them, _okay, he really is._ But the thought of seeing El just makes him think of Billy and thinking of Billy just makes him hurt.

“Wait… not that I’m not excited to see them but… why are the Byers coming? Isn’t it like, super dangerous for them to be here… especially since El can’t, you know…” Max said, glancing at Mike from the corner of her eye and making fists with her little hands, holding them out in front of her like she was boxing or something, “fight?”

“I don’t know why they’re coming. I just know Nancy said they’re on their way. Better hide that board before Will sees.” He said and laughed as they scrambled to stuff the board back into Mike’s oversized bag. Really, he should’ve known that the kids wouldn’t leave their D&D board behind, even if they were packing bags to run from a literal monster. He headed back upstairs to _drown himself_ in coffee. They started screaming at each other again as soon as he shut the door. He smiled to himself and wondered for the millionth time how they could be so _normal_ when everything around them was so completely _not normal_. _Eh, at least the noise was contained in one room._

Robin was sitting at the kitchen table reading and passed him a mug as soon as he walked in. Her eyes never left her book. He took a sip, and it was made exactly how he likes it. Which is about half sugar, half coffee. “Have I ever told you how incredible you are? Seriously, the best. I could kiss you.” He bent down and planted a sloppy kiss on her forehead.

“Only every other day. EW! This face is off limits, you dingus!” She squealed and batted his face away before she glanced up at him with a huge smile. He loved her; he really did. At least she was here with him. If nothing else, he knew Robin would always have his back. He sat down next to her and leaned his head on her bony shoulder. Of course she immediately knew he was upset; she could read him like one of her freakin’ big ass books. “What’s wrong? I made your coffee _exactly_ how you like it!”

“Yes, you did, and I love you for it. I just…” He took a deep breath. “I just really uh, I miss Billy. I keep getting the weirdest feeling, like he should be here leading this whole thing. Almost like, uh… like something’s missing, you know?”

“I’m sorry. I know you miss him Steve, but you’re protecting his family. It’s what he’d do, it’s what he’d want you to do.” She reached over and squeezed his hand, he squeezed back.

“I know Robs. Speaking of his family… how’d Susan take it? I’m uh, I’m sorry I fell asleep, I was… well I _am_ fucking exhausted. Sorry you guys had to tell the hard part; I would’ve, you know… helped.” He lied. He would not have helped. In fact, he’s glad he missed that part of the story. The last thing anyone needs is a sobbing Steve Harrington when they’re trying to save the world.

“Mhm. Sure you would’ve.” Yeah, Robin knows him too well. They’d never even _talked_ about what Billy had said that night. They didn’t need to. Robin had been by his side as he fell apart in the parking lot, by his side as he drank and smoked himself into a coma for a week, by his side at the funeral, by his side while he cried for six months straight, and she’d never asked a single question about why. He knew she understood the pain he couldn’t put into words. He was eternally grateful that with her he didn’t _have to._ “Honestly, Susan is like… a super strong woman. Dustin’s mom cried more than she did. She just… you know,” she gestured with her hands vaguely and Steve had no idea what she meant. He shook his head and she continued, “She just uh… she said she wouldn’t… let it get another one of her kids. I dunno if I’ve ever seen someone so determined.”

Steve chuckled, but it was a small thing. _Yeah, that sounds about right. He has. Must run in the family._ He sat there in comfortable silence with Robin. Well, relative comfortable silence. The kids were still screaming downstairs.

"You know sometimes I think I'm crazy. It's like... I um - I can, hear him sometimes. In my head. Like, his voice is just implanted in my memory or something?"

"You're not crazy dingus. You... you loved him."

" _I love him,_ Robs. I think - I think I always will. Dunno if it'll ever go away. Just uh, have this feeling that, you know, he'd want to be here with us. Maybe.. he _wants to be._ Wherever he is now. Sometimes I can't help but feel like he, he _is_... still here with us. Does uh, doesn't that make me crazy?"

"No. I think a part of him will always be with you. He left it with you that night. You're a lot of things, but crazy? No, never that." She combed her fingers through his hair and he felt a little better. Still hollow, still positive that a huge piece of him was missing. But as the moments ticked by he kept feeling a little stronger. He guessed it was Robin's influence as usual. For the first time in months though, he felt like he was going to be okay, just this strange inkling in the back of his mind. He couldn't make sense of it but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth or whatever. 

"You know, I dreamt of him last night... I feel like it was, uh, almost real. Could hear him talkin to me. Really fucked me up."

"Maybe it is, Steve. Maybe he's cruising through the afterlife thinking of you and cursing at angels or something."

He laughed. _Yeah, maybe so._

“Good morning.” He looked up from his place on Robin’s shoulder to see Nancy getting coffee in her pajamas and yawning like a kitten. He still cared about her, too, but his heart didn’t beat faster now when he saw her. There wasn’t even a dull ache in his chest at the sight. He tried not to think of the beautiful blonde reason why. “Couldn’t sleep with the kids yelling. What the hell are they even doing?”

“Oh my god, you guys will never believe it. I went down there a little while ago and those dorks were…” His words trailed off and he completely lost his train of thought, because in the distance… he could hear…

_Oh, god. No. He thought they were safe. So much for okay._

“Holy shit _._ Holy fucking shit _. That’s… that’s Neil._ ” He screamed just as Susan and Claudia came running into the room, spooked by the sound just as much as he was. He ran over to his dad’s gun safe. Thank _god_ his dad had liked hunting for all of about three days. He grabbed one and handed it to Nancy, grabbed another and handed it to Susan. Robin threw him his bat and grabbed her axe. “Susan, Claudia, the kids are in the storm cellar! Go in with them and lock the door and _don’t open it._ I don’t care what you hear. Go!” Susan cocked the gun, gave him one last pained look and ushered Claudia down the stairs. He listened for the lock, and when he heard it, he headed for the porch. “How the fuck did he find us?”

“I don’t know, but these won’t do much if he brought back up.”

“Well let’s hope he didn’t. Really don’t feel like dying today.” He swung the front door open with shaking hands and the three of them stepped outside, the unmistakable sound of the Camaro’s engine growing closer and closer.

\----------

Billy could feel his heartbeat in every part of his body. The closer he got the more he could _feel him._ He _was afraid,_ and it made Billy press the gas even harder. _Hold on for me Steve, be strong for me. I'm coming._ He was almost positive he was about to have a heart attack. No one in the car said a word as he sped down backroads and towards the warmth radiating into his mind from Steve. He didn't even need directions. He knew where to go. His skin was on fire, he could feel him getting closer and closer. The road ended and he slammed on the brakes in front of the lake house. Everyone in the car held their breath. All of their attention on the trio standing on the porch, gun aimed at them, armed with a bat and an axe. He killed the engine, eyes locked on the boy in front of him.

For all the times he’d _imagined_ seeing Steve again, he had never let himself believe it would really _happen_. Yet there he was, standing ten feet in front of him, staring with wild doe eyes, and he couldn’t _move_. “Billy, it’s okay. Go to him.” El told him with a hand on his shoulder, and he slowly opened the door and stepped out of the car. Heart still racing even with El’s reassurance, tears welling up in his eyes.

He was frozen.

Frozen as those eyes locked onto his.

Frozen as the nail studded bat he was holding hit the ground.

Frozen as he heard the gasps from the girls next to him.

Frozen as Steve’s jaw dropped and tears formed in his eyes, too.

 _Just frozen_.

“ _Steve_.” It wasn’t more than a whisper. Forced out of him like the very air he was trying unsuccessfully to take into his lungs. He still couldn’t get his feet to move, he couldn’t form any words to speak as the boy stood just as frozen as he was. They stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity before Steve finally spoke.

“Am I dreaming, or… is that you, Hargrove?” His words were so quiet and full of pain that they barely made their way to Billy, but when they did, he couldn’t help the smile that he felt spreading across his face.

“It’s… it’s me, Harrington.”

Suddenly Steve was bounding down the steps of the porch, running straight for him. _Oh shit._ He was sure this was when he’d beat the hell out of him. He slammed his eyes shut and waited for the first hit, fully prepared to go down without an ounce of fight.

It never came.

Lips crashed into his own and he stumbled backwards, wrapping his arms around Steve and holding on for dear life. He kissed him back and felt dizzy with it. They were both sobbing, and he could feel where his tears met Steve’s on his cheeks. He could feel Steve’s heartbeat against his own. He could feel Steve’s happiness; his pain and fear melting out of him and into thin air as they kissed. He wanted to stop time right here. He had his happy ending, his once in a lifetime moment. Nothing else existed. His entire body lit up like fireworks were going off inside his head. He could barely breathe as Steve pulled away. The beautiful brown eyes he’d seen in his dreams almost every night met his as Steve whispered, “I’m sorry I’m so late. I’ve always loved you too, you asshole.” He laughed through his tears and leaned his forehead against the boy he loved. The boy who… who somehow loved him back. It felt like a dream, and he never wanted to wake up. All the months of pain were worth it in that moment. He was home.


End file.
